cynicschism

     A highly personal communication between Senators John McCain and Joe Lieberman has recently come into the possession of the cousin of a close friend. We are happy to reproduce it here in full, except for some of the more intimate parts, which have been left out, due to the strictures of discretion and good taste. Here is the edited version of the letter:

Dearest Joe,

     Well, I blew it big time. Joe, my little cabbage, you knew that you were always my first choice for VP. I looked forward to spending long days on the campaign trail with you, and even more joyous nights with you at the local Hilton. But, did I listen to the entreaties of my heart? No, I was stupid enough to follow the hare-brained advice of my senior aides, and instead of selecting you, dear boy, went with the whack job from Alaska. Well, now we know where that bright idea ended up. Now, we will never share special time together in the White House. Can you ever forgive me, dear one?

     Joe, I look back with fondness on our special relationship. From that first touch in the Senate cloakroom, to our first intimate rendezvous, the night Cindy was at her NA meeting, I remember nothing but pure joy. Even now, as I write these words with my quill pen, I feel a bulge rising in my groin area. You alone can inspire such feelings.

     But, thank goodness, it is not over yet. I hope to return to the Senate sometime next week. I trust you will be there. After meeting on the Senate floor, let us adjourn to the polished marble stalls of the men’s room for further confidences.  There will be much important work to conclude. As I joked on one of our first dates, I’m goin’ to fill you buster.

     Until then, a sweet deep kiss for you, dear boy. I look forward to once again viewing your staff reports. Will see you soon in the Senate. Take care.

Yours 4ever,

The Mav.