cynicschism

     The same trusted source who supplied us with the intimate correspondence between Senators John McCain and Joe Lieberman, has again hit pay dirt. Following is the letter we recieved via our source, this time a communication between Governor and former VP nominee Sarah Palin and  Senator and former presidential nominee John McCain. Contrary to the reports of some recent anonymous soruces, it seems the two got on better than expected. We cannot vouch for the absolute accuracy of our source’s letter, but it is certainly feasible. The letter follows:

     Dear McCainy Guy,

          Can I call you Johnny? Hey, for a pretty cranky old dude, you can really lay it out.  I was switchered when you invited me up to your room at the Hilton in Little Smoke, PA for a late night political ‘working session.’   I really though we were going to go over some talking points for the upcoming campaign appearance in Philly.  I was ready to learn from an old pro like you. So what was I thinkin’ when I knocked on the door, and all I heard was a voice saying ‘come on in and I’ll come in you.’  Whoa boy. I thought it was some kind of joke on poor old little stupid me. Though you was pulling my chain, bro. But you weren’t kiding around.  All by yourself in that big suity thinger, with no aides or anyone else around.  I was really floor scratched when I opened the door, and there you were in bed, all covered up.  Forget bout it.  Then you told me Cindy had left early for Philly and asked me to come closer,  and sit right there on the edge of your bed.   Sit on the bed of the possible next president?  You betcha. I didn’t think twice, just plopped my big rear end right on down.

          I figured you just wanted to get closer to me, you know, some of these old geezers have hearing problems.  That’s probably it.  Of course, when you pulled the covers off, I figured something was up.  Boy was something ever.  I could hardly believe what I was seeing through those designer glasses I was wearing.  Boy, Johhny, your peckerwrecker was quite a sight.  For an old dude, that baby was high and hard.  I just had to grab ahold and start pumping.  Boy, you were really straight and stiff there, man.  Betcha I stroked that sucker for five mintues before she blew.   Whoa, it’s a gusher. 

         Bet that’s the strangest mess those folks have ever cleaned up.  When you come, you don’t kid around boy.  Still can’t believe what an old slicker like you can do.  I really got to say you rock, guy.  I don’t like spreading tales, but my ‘better half,’ you know the first dude dude, well like he’s supposed to be a big tough ironmen guy, but I’ll tell you a little secret.  That man has nothing on you, John.  Compared to what I saw that night he’s just a soft mini you.  He’s not even half the man you are,  Johnny Boy, if you get my meaning. 

        Now that night I was tempted to take it one step further, but I didn’t.  But now, I just might be ready for you to shag a little piece of Palin, me I mean.  After I saw your big mac, well, I want some fries with that dickerwhicker.  So, let’s set up a time and place, that’s good for both of us, so we can get going.  Even as I write this sucker, and it’s taking me a while to get all this stuff together, I’m getting just a little moist at the thought of  you cleaning up my pipeline.  I’ll get back to you soon for more details.  Until then,  keep the good work up, and remember Sarah wants a brand new fur lick from Oldman McCain.  I’ll be waiting for your reply, you little heartbreaker.

Breathlessly yours,

Governor Sarah Palin

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